my soul wont recognize me after tonight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I love you.
Bad choice
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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