Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
