a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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