I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
