i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize