Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
