ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
