I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
