jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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