everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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