you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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