Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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