I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
