conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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