I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
