We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
