I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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