we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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