So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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