I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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