I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
