There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
