Got a toothbrush?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize