I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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