At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
