for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize