Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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