Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize