If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
