Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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