Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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