I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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