I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
