Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
