need another drink. this is the easiest way
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Are these your boobs on my camera?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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