Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
