he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize