my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Alive.
So much puke
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
