I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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