You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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