God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
