This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So here I am, sexting at work.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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