I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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