Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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