My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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