his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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