rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
