It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
