Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
