your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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