I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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