I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
