Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
