We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
