you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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