I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just want to make out with him forever
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
