Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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