I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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