This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Congratulations! We have a period
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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