I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
