Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
