Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
How does one acquire holy water?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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