You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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