I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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