you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
